The Boomer & The Empathically Sensitive Gen X
I find it interesting that the people I always feel the most at home with and I am the most curious about are the Boomers! Yet they may be the ones who I have the most differing beliefs and opinions with.
These days, I find myself going to the local pub where the boomers clearly hang out and I absolutely love the feeling there. I feel wisdom and a life lived that isn’t perfect but real. Plus I love date days with my honey. We go and have wings and chat about our own life, our goals and hang ups.
And, I people watch, obviously. We are new to the community and I don’t know any of them yet. All I have is my curiosity and imagination.
I look around at them as they sit there on the old wooden chairs, surrounded by the wall paneling and worn out floors. It is almost as if I can smell the history of all the years and conversations in this place. I can sense the laughter, the bar brawls, the lust. I smile at my own “i love you man” memories echoing in my ears, from my days in the local pubs in small town Saskatchewan.
I find myself wondering what kinds of joy they went through. How much they may have suffered and if they managed to grieve rather than suppress their losses. What their kids are like if they have any. Do they have many regrets? I wonder if they believe in God? Do they feel content about the life they lived? Do they feel loved and appreciated?
I think to myself, I bet every one of them has some wisdom to share that they have mostly kept locked up inside of them. Some so locked up it feels as if they have a noose around their throats. I want to scream let it out! Then one of them laughs one of those sweet laughs and I smile again.
I have a deep curious desire to have conversations with them about what they experienced and how they got to where they are. I am curious about how they came to be sitting there with that Kokanee in hand, a smile on their face, and with a hint of pain in their eyes.
We left the pub and ended up stopping in for a visit on our way home at a neighbors shop. I knew I would get to see more boomers and I am always up for that! I really do adore them.
I sat there laughing with 3 boomers, a borderline millennial / gen x and myself, the clear gen X; a water hose drinking, barefoot 80’s street rat who lived by the rule of the dim glow of the street lights. A young girl, now a grown woman who is deeply curious, and who’s view of the world is often seen as too sensitive, too naïve, or even too optimistic. And on occasion as conspiracy minded ;)
Two of us, myself and one of the boomers were the most chatty. His grey eyes, white moustache and slightly longer hair fill the view of my eyes. His eyes don’t often look into mine when he speaks to me, but I stare intently at his, wondering about his wisdom. He makes the odd remark that would make a liberal feminist gasp in complete horror. I just smirk at his ways, and let him be who he is.
Politics came up.
Medical controversies came up.
God and religion came up.
We didn’t really agree on any of it 😂
We didn’t argue.
We didn’t tell each other how to be or what to believe in. Or even that we were wrong.
We just shared. We challenged one another a little too. I asked him how he knew the news was based on facts for sure and he asked me how I knew for sure God was real. I think the rest of them were holding their breath lol.
I could tell that we both wanted one another to be open to our beliefs and points of view and challenges that we presented to one another. I kept on with the conversation from the perspective that I could be taught something. I remained open and curious, but without people pleasing to keep the peace. I gave him his space to speak and he gave me mine.
It was refreshing.
Boomers have lived longer. I respect and appreciate the suffering I imagine they have gone through - the suffering I never had to thankfully.
I think it’s given them a quality we can’t really understand at our age. It’s given them a wisdom that’s often dismissed by the younger generations. And I can’t help but simply smirk at their remarks, rather than CORRECT them. I guess I choose to see the wisdom in it and learn from it.
We (gen x), have experienced the world through a new set of eyes in some ways. With the wisdom of the boomers and the mistakes of the boomers (and those before them). And from that, I like to think, we are driven to change and experience generational healing. AND to question things, of course. I think that’s a great wisdom to hold as well.
I am not going to fight to change someone. I will witness them and change myself. This is where we start to really change the world. Not by pointing fingers and constantly be appalled, but by our own inner work. It is one of the main reason I started in the healing work that I do, and why I offer the sessions that I do. Simply put, so we can all evolve.
The next time you look into a boomers eyes with judgment, I hope you also decide to look deeper in their pain they endured and into their inner child.
I view the world through potentials and various perceptions. I don’t see anyone as right or wrong per se, and I don’t see much as black and white, especially when I’m coming from a spiritual perspective. I see love. I see curiosity. I see the pain that came before me through my ancestors and the men and women who care to speak with me. I see growth, faith and hope that comes after me, passed down through my son. I see a vision of light that makes it through the darkness.
Call me a naïve, oneness loving Pisces dreamer if you must. I prefer that, over an angry vengeful human with a superiority complex.
xoxo
Paula